Key to Discovery

The smartest fellow we got here in Harper must be said to be Quince Bewondo. Quince has had a thousand ideas on how to improve the lives of his fellow Americans. Unfortunately, the idea of how to provide a decent living for his family has not developed in his active brain.
Last week I went by Quince's place and found him sitting in a rocker on his front porch. He was sipping some green colored liquid from a mason jar.
"What's up, Quince," said I.
"Just thinkin'," said Quince.
"'Bout what?"
"Harnessing lightning."
"And...."
Quince took a sip, let out a shweew, and answered, "You know when old Benjamin Franklin flew up that kite with a key in a thunderstorm and discovered electricity."
"I remember reading about it."
"Well, I was looking at Wendell's, you know, my least son, Wendell's history book and come up on this picture of Ben and his kite, and the thing what stood out was the key. I think that's a clue. It means the key to discovery."
Quince adjusted his place in the chair and continued, "I figure it means that lightning is the key to solving all our energy problems and I'm sitting here trying to work out the details."
"Makin' any progress?"
"Some. I figure it ain't no problem catching a bolt of lightning. You know, lightning rods and stuff. The problem is the harnessing of it. When I work that out I think we got something."
"Well I don't want to stop the wheels of discovery," I said.
And with that I bid him adieu and made my way down the path to the road. I could almost feel the vibrations of his thinking as I walked along.

Using the Bible To Make Your Point

This morning down at the barbershop there was this big argument going on. Wally Witt, a fellow who has a son what married a girl from Mexico and now lives in California, was fussing about people who are fighting the children coming across the border. He quoted a Bible verse that says something like: Let the little children come unto me and do not hinder them." Bark Bedsome spoke up, "I know that verse and I always figured it was about abortion."
I reckon folks ought to leave the Bible out of political discussion, particularly when they don't really know what they are talking about.

Don't forget to look up my cousin's book on Amazon or Barnes & Noble: Tales of Harper by Malcolm L. Wilkinson.

Meadow Four

This morning Slim Bongloberg came into the barbershop ranting and raving about his wife Myrtis and her list of chores. Seems Myrtis stepped off a curb and broke a bone in her foot and has been hobbling around for about a month. Myrtis has the reputation of being a good housekeeper. I once heard Dorothy say a person could eat off her floors they were so clean. Anyway, Slim was upset because they had a woman from a house cleaning agency at their house and Myrtis had had him working all yesterday and from 5 o'clock this morning getting ready for this woman. He said, "When this woman walked in and surveyed the situation she said, 'I don't rightly know where to begin. Most places I go my work is mapped out for me. Here, looking for dirt is like looking for a needle in a haystack.'" Slim coughed up a little trail dust and stepped outside to the curb to expectorate. When he returned he continued, "Needle in a haystack. I say it's more like paying for the cable when you ain't got no television set." He continued to rant and when he left one fellow commented, "You know, I don't see why people have to reach deep in their head to come up with one of them meadow fours. They need to just say what they mean in plain terms."
I reckon he's right.

A Summons to Memphis (Hollis)

A Summons to Memphis by Peter Taylor
Winner of Pulitzer Prize (1987)
Phillip Carver, middle aged New Yorker, receives call from sisters in Memphis. Octogenarian father, recently widowed, plans to marry a younger woman. Phillip is torn between interfering and letting his dad live the remainder of his life as he wants.
The call brings back memories: A move from Nashville to Memphis during Great Depression - his father's disruption of romances for all four of his children - older brother dies in WWII - three surviving children remain unmarried - Phillip's move to New York and his relationship with a younger woman.
Differences in Nashville and Memphis societies - responsibilities of parents - responsibilities of children to older parents - revenge vs. forgiveness.
This is a book that should not only be read, but studied.

They Cut Her Neck Off

Lingus Smoote was all upset this morning when he came into the barbershop. He was listening to a spot on the radio about the beheading of Ann Boleyn that, I think, happened on this day of the year all those years ago over in England. Lingus gave us his report.
"I heard on the radio where them English cut this woman's neck off. From what they said she warn't guilty of nothing, it was just that the king wanted to get rid of her so he could marry somebody else. It's hard for me to believe they is acting that way over there. We ought to write letters to their congressmen and their president to stop this kind of action. I, for my part, will not eat English peas, English muffins, London broil, or anything with England on it till they straighten all this out. Why just this morning I was looking for any of this stuff in our pantry and found in Maudie's tea box some English breakfast tea. Out. I throwed it out and good riddance."
Harpoone Dillery spoke, "First. To cut somebody's neck off would require two chops. I think they cut her head off. Second, this happened hundreds of years ago. They don't have beheadings in England anymore."
"Wrong," said Lingus. "I am sure they cut her neck off. If it took two chops so be it. And it was today. The reason I know is because the fellow on the radio said, 'Today in history.' And he said it twice at the beginning and at the end of his story. So there."
At that point everybody either picked up a magazine or went back to reading their newspapers.

Getting Ahead

Dorban Putz started a conversation down at the barbershop this morning. He said, "Them what has gets and them what ain't don't."
Harlow Jenkerson said "Well, I started with nothing, I mean nothing, and now I own three businesses. So you're not exactly right, Dorban."
Dorban lives down by the lake in a fishing trailer. He was married but his wife left him years ago. He makes his living rowing for fishermen and working around the fishing camp.
"Well, it may be, Harlow, but you got a lot of breaks," said Dorban.
"I'd say it was mostly hard work that brought me through," said Harlow. "I worked two jobs and went to school at night to get my degree."
"I never saw no need for schooling. I know some folks that went all the way through school and they ain't doing too good," replied Dorban. "Nope it warn't schoolin', it were just pure-de-oh bad luck, in my case."
"Yeah, I reckon you're right," said Harlow.
For my part I didn't see how any comment from me would advance the argument, one way or the other.

Fishing Car

Enos Windstrumb finally got rid of his old fishing car yesterday. His wife had been on his case because the car was literally falling apart. In fact, Enos had the good sense not to drive the car even a few miles out to the river. He called a charity that wanted old cars and when they took a look at it they said, "No way."
Last week, Enos' wife, Elda, had her car in the shop and Enos was out of town. She was scheduled to go to a baby shower. The event was held at the new apartment building and Elda took a chance and used the fishing car to get her there. She was in a hurry and got her instructions on where to park mixed up. Turned out she parked in a space that was reserved for one of the tenants. There was no name on the wall in front of the place where she left the old car, just a number.
When she left the party and came back to her car she found it was blocked in. At the office for the apartments they told her the space was reserved for a Dr. Whistlebone. When he was called, he refused to come and move his car stating that any fool who parked in his space would have to suffer the consequences. Elda got a ride home with a friend and left the old car there.
Next day, the Windstrumbs started receiving calls from the doctor asking them to come an unoccupy his space. After a few days his requests became pleas.
They never came back for the car and the poor doctor had to call a wrecker service to come and get the vehicle. When the wrecker arrived at the Windstrumb's house, Enos told them he had never seen that car before in his life. They took it to the dump and sent the doctor a bill for their service.
Down at the barbershop this morning, one of the fellows asked Enos to tell everybody about the proctologist who blocked in his car. Enos said, "He wasn't no proctologist." And the fellow said, "I figured he was from the way you described him."