Isolated Showers

Peoples round here been praying for rain. Just think about it. Less than 60 miles west they are praying for the flood waters to go away. And we dry as a bone. Well today it did rain. Some. We need a lots more, but we is happy for what we did get. Reminds me of old Scoot Nixon, a farmer out in the country from here. Scoot were what we called a poor dirt farmer. As far as I know his shadow never crossed a school room door. But he knowed how to raise cotton, so he made a good enough living just doing that. Now back when television were new and peoples had to erect a television aerial way up in the air just to get a snowy signal, Scoot were visiting his daughter and seen TV for the first time. Back then they had this weather man we all called Woody who stayed on the air for almost a century. The day after he seen the miracle of television like I said for the first time, Scoot come rushing over to my house all perplexalated. "Harvey Lee,"he said. "Mr. Woody said last night we was going to have isolated showers today." "Yeah," I said. "I seen it too." "And this is June ain't it" he continued. "Yeah, it's sure enough June," I said. "Well don't isolated showers mean it's gonna sleet." We have isolated showers called for tomorrow. I wish there were a little sleet mixed up in it.

All You Can Do Is Wait

Wampole Wiggins, Attorney at Law, tells me all I can do now is wait. He got together papers for Trixie to sign. They say if she will not contact me she will receive a one time payment of $200,000. Don't worry I got enough money to last me for the rest of my life. Oil. I reckon I'll just have to count on Trixie making the money last for a long time cause I know when she runs out of money she'll call me. I just gotta be strong and not give her no more ever again. Wampole says she will probably hurry things through since she must really need the money. He has ordered me not to give her any kind of advance or nothing like that. I'm getting kinda antsy. I need to get this stone off my neck.

Coinkydink

I were sitting in my fishing cabin trying to figure out what to tell Trixie when I called her and then a coinkydink happened. I don't know if peoples still calls it a coinkydink when you thinking about somebody and right then they calls you, but that's what we used to call it. Trixie called from Texas and didn't beat around the bush; she come right out and asked me if she could move back in with me. I knew she were broke or she wouldn't have called. So I jumped right on it and told her I was working with a lawyer to get a divorce ASAP. You ain't never heard such wailing in your life. But I calmed her right down by asking her what it would take to make her happy. She said to move back and I said I were talking money; like how much it would take to get her off my back once and for all. It didn't take her too long to tell me she would settle for $200,000. I told her I would do it but she could never call me no more. She said okay but she didn't understand how I could let her go. Ever body loves a Texas girl she said. I said I promised to love her as long as she stayed in Texas.

Divorce

They was playing that Tammy Wynett song DIVORCE on the jukebox at Dorothy's Cafe this morning. They ain't changed the records in years if they ever did. But listening to that music and looking at Dorothy, it come to my mind that I might ought to get divorced from Trixie. She run off with that tent preacher at least ten years ago. She says she don't want no divorce but she ain't coming back to live with me neither. I wouldn't let her is she wanted to. So after I finished my eggs, grits, bacon, and hot cakes and drinked about five cups of coffee, I got in my truck and headed to Wampole Wiggins office. He are a lawyer. The kind what writes wills and gets people divorced. I told him what I wanted and he said it warn't no problem. The fee were $250.00 to get the ball rolling and more later. I reckon I don't care what it costs if I can get rid of Trixie once and for all. Now I got to call her and listen to her weep and wail about how sorry she are and how she's so ashamed she done me wrong. I has heard all this before.

Tomorrow:
A Talk With Trixie

My Offer for Dorothy

My Fishing Cabin  

Since her mama passed away, Dorothy have been living in her home all by herself. As y'all know if you been following all my ramblings, me and Dorothy is real good friends. We go places together and I eat most all my meals at Dorothy's Cafe. And she helps me keep the big house up by getting some of her cafe peoples to come over and clean and wash clothes and such. I told Dorothy she could come and live in the big house and run it from there. There wouldn't be no rent or nothing. And I would stay at my cabin where I spend a lot of time anyway. But Dorothy said it wouldn't be seemly for her to live in a man's house what she warn't married to. I tried to tell her I wouldn't be there, but it warn't no use. I ain't prepared to ask her to marry me and I ain't sure she would say yes to that anyway. As y'all know I been married three times; buried two of 'em and the third run off with a tent preacher. So you can see I ain't got no business marrying anybody else. Beside I don't think I am officially divorced from Trixie, the third wife. If I was to ask somebody else it would be Dorothy. She would be my only choice.

The Seventh Wonder (ain't no place though)

The first six wonders we talked about was:
1. The Leaning Silo of Butter
2. The Hanging Garden of Brassfield
3. The Tall Light of Highhill
4. Jethro's Corn Maze
5. Kelly's Watermelon, Pumpkin, and Gourd Farm
6. Harley Creek Echo Cave
Today I am bringing you the seventh wonder, but it ain't no place. It's a person. Her name are Ella Pat Sorberough and she are a human computer. Back a few years ago there warn't no computers to speak of. I think they had big computers in real big colleges, but no private peoples had none. Even before that Ella Pat were a great source of information and she done it all on 3 x 5 cards. She had figured out this filing system for quick look up and could answer almost any question you gave her in just a few seconds. You could go to see her in person or you could call her on the phone. A lot of folks were a little afraid of her and would always call her. They just couldn't figure out how she knew so much and figured she must have witch like powers. Warn't so though. She were just as normal as ever body else here in Harper, just real organized. Now if you asked her something she didn't know she would find it out and make a card for it.
I ask her a lot of opera questions. I reckon I'm the only one around her what does that, but she have always had the answer. So the seventh wonder of Southwest Mississippi are: Ella Pat Soberough, the human computer.

Harley Creek Echo Cave

I reckon I ought not to put Harley Creek Cave on my list of the Seven Wonders of Southwest Mississippi.
For a couple of reasons: not many peoples here has ever seen it and ain't nobody probably gonna take you there. The cave is around a curve in the creek and the only way I know to get there is in a boat. In the summer ever time I ever been there I ain't even been able to get close. They has willow trees all around the hole what goes into the cave and them trees is filled with snakes. Water moccasins. And y'all probably know they is poison. I do go out there a lot in the winter; me and Willie that is. We just like a couple of kids because when we get close to the cave mouth, we sing into it. It's kinda like one of them Cary O'Kee
machines they got down at the Dew Drop Inn. The sound what come back is pure and clean, a lot better than what come out of my mouth in the shower. Maked me sound like Frank Sinatra.
Tomorrow:
The Seventh Wonder (ain't no place though)