Spitting Image

They got this thing on the interweb that they call a social network. People put a lot of pictures on it and they can be seen all over the world. Rufus McBall got into a lot of trouble with his wife and her family because of a picture somebody posted last year. It was the spitting image of Rufus right down to the side of his hair he puts the part in. The man was pictured with one of those drinks with an umbrella and he was standing between two beautiful women in dresses like they wear in those South Seas movies. I am sure it wasn't Rufus but most people who saw it were sure it was. Those who did not see it but were told about it were even more certain. Rufus' wife, Idele, was infuriated. She threatened to leave him and take him to the cleaners in the divorce settlement. Rufus was stunned. He told me, "I ain't even a member of that network and don't have no idea how to put a picture on it. And I ain't never had no drink with no umbrella. All I ever drink comes out of a long neck bottle." Don't worry, friends, things worked out all right for Rufus and tomorrow I'll tell how it all came about.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Leftovers

Milford Meany had a funny experience yesterday, This morning he was telling about it down at the barbershop. Seems he was on his way home from his daughter's house when he come upon this fellow digging around in the dumpster behind the Harper Lake Cafe. When he saw Milford staring at him he took of walking kinda fast. Milford followed from a safe difference and saw the fellow go into the Good Shepherd Home for the Homeless down on Lakeview Lane. Milford parked and went in. He told the lady at the desk what he had seen and offered to bring a bunch of left over food for the people staying at the center. He was told they could accept no food that hadn't been cooked outside their kitchen. He was welcome to go to the grocery store and bring in unopened packages but that was it. Milford said, "But the man was eating out of a garbage dumpster." And the woman said, "What he does outside the center does not concern us." Milford left thinking of that poor fellow. He decided to take all his leftovers down to that particular dumpster. He sat up a card tables with paper cloths and even lighted candles. Several of his neighbors donated their leftovers and there on Lakeview Lane sat a nice outdoor cafe. Now was the tricky part. Milford borrowed Jason Brilldorf's bullhorn and stood outside the Good Shepherd shouting out a welcome for a fine dining experience. All free. Within an hour the place was buzzing. It ain't easy being kind these days.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Cold Turkey

Yesterday, I overheard a fellow complaining about the fact that we would be eating Thanksgiving leftovers for the next week or so. He said, "I reckon we're gonna be eating cold turkey until just before Christmas." That got me thinking about when I was a boy and there was an ice cream treat called a Cold Turkey. It was vanilla ice cream on a stick that was dipped in chocolate. Nowadays most people have never heard of that specialty. I reckon when the term cold turkey was adopted for the procedure of getting off cigarettes, alcohol, or drugs in an abrupt cancelation of their use. That ruined it for the ice cream dish. It kind of amazes me how our language changes. Me and Dorothy were watching an old Fred Astaire movie the other night and he was talking about how gay he felt. That means something else today and I wonder if it was confusing to youngsters. Anyway that's not what I was talking about, I was thinking about ice cream, leftovers, etc. Just want to say how thankful I am that we have leftovers. There are people in the world who will finish their meal today and still be hungry. God bless them.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Trace Elements

Jackspur Halferson had this old plum tree that was not producing fruit down behind his wash house. His grandboys came over and wanted to nail some nails into the side of his barn. He had an idea that since the old tree wasn't doing any good for them, he might as well have the boys use the trunk as their nailing pad. They literally filled that tree with nails, all sizes. The next year there was a big crop of plums. The county agent said he figured it was the trace elements in the nails that did the work. It got me thinking about Maudie Spurl, a woman who recently became the number one real estate agent in Harper County. She was a shy girl growing up and most figured she would not amount to much in life. But somehow she got herself turned around and became the strong person she is today. I asked her if she could tell just what caused such a transformation in her life. She replied that there were probably a lot of things but one thing she was sure of: Dorothy's smile. Maudie said every morning when she came into the cafe with her daddy while he drank coffee, Dorothy was very attentive to her. She said Dorothy's twinkling eyes and smiling lips made her feel like she was worth something. I figure a smile is such a simple thing to give. It don't cost you anything and may be worth a lot to the recipient. Anyway I am not sure nailing nails in a plum tree and smiling at a little girl have a lot to do with each other but that's just the way my poor brain works.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Never Give Up

I watched a football game last night where the home team was behind 24-0 at halftime. They came back and won the game. It reminded me of back when I had come home from Korea with damage to my feet from freezing while on patrol. I had given up on life. I started drinking and even running around with women. My wife, Bethel, was waiting up one night when I came home. I smelled of whiskey, cigarettes, and cheap women's perfume. Bethel's voice was gentle, but firm as she told me that no matter what she would not give up on me even if I was determined to give up on myself. She reminded me that I was also giving up on her and on my three children. Something about the words she used and the way she spoke them hit me. From that day forward my life changed.

I don't know what that coach said to his team during halftime and I am sure it was not spoken in the kind, gentle voice that Bethel used that day back in the fifties, but whatever he said worked.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

A Little Late

I ran into Morris Mixtleson coming out of the Piggly Wiggly a few minutes ago. He was all dressed up in his church clothes. I asked him how he was doing. His wife passed away a couple of months ago and I haven't talked to him since her burial. He said he didn't know what he was going to do without her. The strange thing is I don't remember him ever saying a kind thing about her while she was alive. In fact the word was out that he treated her like a dog. I don't mean he beat her or anything like that, he just took advantage of her kind nature. Back when he was younger they say he ran around on her. In his later years he just talked down to her and had her waiting on him hand and foot. At least that what was said about them. I reckon you would have to say he provided her with food and shelter, but that's about all. Today he told me he would do anything if he could just talk to her one more time, to tell her he loved her and needed her. That ain't gonna happen.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Rules, Rules, Rules

Men are funny creatures. One of the things that keeps coming up down at the barbershop is how men hate all the rules their wives enforce in their homes. They complain, but they keep doing their dead level best to adhere to the policies set down by their spouses. This morning one fellow said he was sure God is a man because if he were a woman Moses would have wore himself out coming up and down that mountain with stone tablets. He said there would not have been only ten commandments there would have been hundreds. Another guy said his wife had a place for everything and she expected that all things be in their place at all times. He felt that if on a scale of one to ten murder was a ten, leaving a magazine on the coffee table was a nine. Another guy said his main thing was the detail his wife put forth when explaining why he should follow her rules. He said if he wanted to prevent people from spitting on his floor he would just say, "Spit on my floor and you'll be sorry." His wife would get all involved in hygiene and germs in a four minute explanation of her edict. I asked, "Why do you guys put up with all this?" One guy summed it up, "Because men need to be controlled. If we were left to our own devices we would walk around in dirty clothes and stand on the corner picking our noses." Hmmm.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Did They Say Rough Love?

Herkimer Higgins was real upset this morning down at the barbershop. He heard (or thought he heard) an announcement that one of the morning shows was going to talk about rough love. He said he felt if they had to have that subject matter on it should be late at night when the kids were all in bed. He said he didn't have nothing against rough love as long as there were two consenting adults and there weren't no bruises left. Milton Makeover told Herkimer that he thought the topic of the segment was tough love about disciplining your children. But Herkimer said he was sure they said rough love and he disconnected his satellite outside the house so nobody at home could watch such a thing while he was away.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Love Your Enemies

Bledsoe Morgan was spouting off down at the barbershop this morning about a sermon he heard last Sunday about loving your enemies. He didn't buy it. He claimed he tried it once and a particular man he considered an enemy took advantage of him and it cost him hundreds of dollars. Somebody spoke up and said that if he really loved that enemy he would not have allowed him to treat him in that fashion since it was bad for both of them. From there the conversation got more and more convoluted (I think that's the right word). They got to talking about tough love and that switched over to peoples kids and how they were taken advantage of by their young'ns. Anyway when I got home I decided to look into this thing about loving my enemies so I took paper and pen and sat down to write out a list of all those who I considered an enemy. I couldn't come up with a single name. Now I can't decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Harper Twins

We don't have a lot of twins here in Harper. In fact, all the ones we had have moved off to other locations with the exception of Ricky Ronald and Dicky Donald Smith. I have known them since they were boys and the thing that stands out about them is how different they are from one another. When they were little their mother dressed them the same and fitted their bedrooms with twin beds. Everything they had was in duplicate: bicycles, bb guns, footballs, etc. Where you saw one you saw the other, that is until they graduated from high school. Then they took different roads. R.R. went off to college, D.D. took a job down at the feed mill loading trucks. R.R. married his high school sweetheart and they are still married today. D.D. is now on his fourth wife and from what I here they aren't getting on too well. R.R. lives in a small house but it is always neat as a pin. D.D.'s place is about to fall in. The front porch is covered with old appliances and there are two dead cars in the front yard. You rarely see them together but when you do the difference really stands out. It used to be hard to tell them apart, not so much anymore.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Welcomed Sight

The window in our breakfast room looks out over the lake, so I like to sit for an extra cup of coffee and enjoy where we live. This morning I got an unexpected treat while sipping my java. Wilbow Fisher was out in his boat fishing away. I recognized him because he is the only one around here I know who wears an orange cap. It is so orange I believe it would glow in the dark. Anyway, Wilbow has been real sick for the last few months, his appendix popped and he got poisoned blood from it. The doctors kept him in the hospital and gave him antibiotics in his veins. I heard it said that years ago before these wonder drugs he would have probably died. Back then a lot of people did. Wilbow is a good citizen and it is heartwarming to see him up and about. He and his wife May Susan couldn't have children of their own so they got to adopting kids and ended up with a half dozen. A couple of children were from Russia and one came from somewhere over around China. Three were local from a family that lost both mother and father within a year. Wilbow is hard working, God fearing, and totally unselfish. Losing him would have been a big blow to Harper.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Keeping Still

Keeping still is something I learned or acquired later in life. I used to be on the move constantly, always looking for things to do. Now I can (or need to) relax more often. There is this little bench that my daddy built down by the lake. He used to sit there and muse (that's what my mamma called it) for hours at a time. As a boy I thought he was wasting valuable time. Now I see the merit in reflection and study of all things real and imaginary. I am not sure if I believe in muses or even know what they are, but I do feel something directing my thoughts when I set and look out over the lake. I once heard a man say he felt there was a story he needed to tell, but he just didn't have the skill or ability to do justice to his thoughts. This man is dead and gone and as far as I know he never acted on this calling to tell his thoughts. He left a story or stories on the table. Maybe no one would have read or appreciated his words, but we will never know that, will we?

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Rainy Trip Home

I have mixed feelings about driving on rainy days. The road may be slick and hazardous, but the sun is not shining in your eyes. I kinda like to drive in the rain, Dorothy not so much. I think I may have to replace the armrest on her side of the car. I told her to sit back and relax but she was not ready to do that. Anyway we made it back to Harper safe and sound. All the way back we discussed the folks we met and the people we already knew but hadn't seen in a while. All in all we felt it was a very nice group of people. The food was delicious and the band at the reception was fantastic. Even an old guy like me can get a little jump in his life from lively music. Next wedding trip in April in St. Louis.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Blueberry Pancake Adventures

One big problem I have is dropping food on my shirts. In a lot of old movies the men, the older ones anyway, stick their napkin in the neck front of their shirts and I can see why. Dorothy says I should just learn how to move the morsel from the plate to my mouth and nowhere else. Easier said than done. We stayed at a bed and breakfast last night and this morning we were served delicious blueberry pancakes. They were filled with big, juicy berries and one of them popped and sent blue juice flying. A little found its way to the tablecloth, a lot to the front of my shirt. I mean like some magnetic force was controlling it. I got one of those little Tide sticks but it didn't work. So I changed shirts. We had fried oysters and shrimp and something from that meal got caught up in the attraction field of my upper body and left a little grease on my shirt. I am thinking of buying me an eating suit that I can wear at mealtime and throw directly in the washing machine. Maybe I'll get twenty-one of those suits so I can wash just once a week.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Watercolor Wedding

Another one of Dorothy's great-nieces is getting married and we are off today for the wedding. It will be tomorrow at a place in Florida called Watercolor. Neither the bride nor groom is from Watercolor. This is what they call a destination wedding. Every time I got married it was right here in Harper, but I reckon an out of town wedding is not a bad thing. It has been a while since I visited the Florida Panhandle and I am looking forward to our trip. They tell me things have been booming down there. About the only time things boom in Harper County is when somebody dynamites a stump out of place.
More about the trip later.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Secondary Cataract

Today I drove down to my doctor's office and got what they call secondary cataract treatment. I had cataract surgery last year and my vision has been 20:20 since that day. Last time I went for a checkup my doctor told me I would need to have an additional procedure. They use a laser beam. The procedure was really easy (for me). A few drops in my eyes, answering a few question, and sitting still for about two minutes was all that was required of me. The nurse and doctor did the rest. There was no pain and little discomfort, just a little blurry vision for a couple of hours. I drove home by myself. I am thankful for modern medicine and good doctors.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle 

A Quick Life

Back in the late forties and early fifties we had this fellow here in Harper name of Speedy Barkley. Speedy was real big on adventure. His daddy bought him an old Chevrolet and Speedy read books and got advice from a local mechanic on how to speed it up. He got it going real fast and won several impromptu races. His daddy threatened to take his car away if he didn't slow down and he did, as far as his daddy knew. But late at night Speedy would race his car around all the road of Harper County. One foggy night he made a turn on this little gravel road. I reckon he didn't know that was the road leading to the one and only gravel pit in the county. Well, he ran over the side and down into the pit and the car burst into flames. He was killed. I remember hearing old sheriff Dolittle talking about it. He said, "We only got one cliff in Harper County and damn if he didn't find it." At his service one of his teachers read a poem about living a full live. Seemed she wanted to say he made the most of the time he had. I never quite saw it that way.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

A Rose by Any Other Name

I see the Atlanta Braves are moving to a new stadium. I reckon it's time for that since the old one is about twenty years old. This got me thinking about Maureen Coon, a Harper woman who died a few years ago. Maureen, who pronounced her name Cone, was big on making things better by what she called them; kinda like that TV woman who pronounces her name, Bucket, as Boo-kay. Anyway, Maureen referred to the two-hundred seat Harper Football Field as the Harper Stadium. I reckon it don't matter but people kinda laughed behind her back at the way she talked. She referred to her Chevy as her Monte Carlo (this was correct, but a little pretentious) and she ate frankfurters, steak burgers, and feline fish. Her noon meals was lunch (everybody else called it dinner) and supper was only something late at night after dinner. She served tea every afternoon and was never seen in anything other than a dress.
Maureen was okay, but the rest of us didn't need wordplay to accept our humble lives. We played football on any piece of land that was flat and clear of animals or their droppings. And we marked off grassless clay ground with a stick to make a basketball court. I remember one guy excusing the loss of his team to a bunch of guy who drove up from McComb. He said, "We should have won and if the wind had not been blowing so hard we would have. It was just a bad luck day. We were one point behind and I got a break-away pass and was heading to a sure winning goal when I tripped over a root."
I reckon Maureen did bring a little color to out little town. God bless her.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Sound Advice

Y'all may remember when I told about Margo Blemp getting hooked into that "advice scam" last week.
Well, she was telling Dorothy about it and Dorothy said, "If you don't mind telling me just what advice were you seeking?" And Margo told her the story of how her thirty-four year old son was still living at home and she was cooking, cleaning, answering his phone calls, and doing his laundry while he played computer games and watched videos all day. She said she was tired of it and didn't know what to do. Dorothy said, "Margo, you do know what to do. You're just not ready to do it. Or are you?"

This morning I saw a moving van parked in front of the Blemp house. Several boxes were sitting on the front lawn and on top of one of the boxes was a teddy bear. I reckon that boy is about to get his first dose of growing up.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Hollis' Visit

Hollis was home this weekend. He came over and we watched the Ole Miss football game. I was interested in how he was doing at school and he said he was doing okay except one of his classes, English Literature, took up a lot of his time because the professor, a man named James Q. Wilkes (Hollis always refers to him with his full name), had given them a long list of required reading. The way this guy works is there is no actual number of books you are required to read, but at the end of the term you will be graded on several things one of which is the number of books and more importantly your understanding of subject matter. Hollis says some of the reading is tedious but rewarding. Hollis has an advantage over me in that he loves to read, me not so much. I mean I enjoy a good western every now and then. Hollis had one of his books with him and I opened it and read a few lines. Glad I'm sitting here in Harper and not up at the university.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

The Secret Sharer (Hollis)

Back to assigned reading.
The Secret Sharer by Joseph Conrad
Unnamed captain narrates - new command - insecure leader - naked swimmer - Leggatt - admitted murderer - excaped from the ship Sephora - hidden in (shares) captains cabin - avoids steward - visit from Captain Archbold - perilously near to rocky shore - allows Leggatt's excape.
A quick read written as a break from work on one of Conrad's novels.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

A Big Move

This morning I looked out my front window and saw a house coming down the road. I wasn't surprised because for weeks we have heard about Cletus Milborgue's plan to move the little house he was born and raised in down next to his place on the lake. His wife Clara Faye plans to run a bed and breakfast operation out of that little place. They plan to paint and patch and make it into a real nice place for people to come and stay while they swim and fish in Harper Lake. Clara Faye plans to have them come  a few feet up to their house for breakfast every morning. After that they will be pretty much on their own. They can use one of Cletus' boats and he has a bunch of fishing equipment at their disposal. I hope it works well for them. I gotta run. The moving crew has run into a problem with a wire crossing the road that will need to be raised for the house to pass under. Pray nobody get electrocuted.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Asterisks

You know what they say about reading the fine print before you sign. Well, Margo Blemp was telling Dorothy about how she got roped into a deal by not paying attention to the little asterisk on a sign. It seems Maybelle Sensehammer opened this new business. She got the idea when she attended a government sponsored seminar on survival in today's economy. They said, in so many words, that a person should survey their strengths, find something they were real good at, and use these skills to make money. The one thing Maybelle knew she was good at was giving advice. So she put our a sign that said: FREE ADVICE*. Margo passed by last week and since she was in need of advice dropped in and laid her problem right in front of Maybelle. Maybelle gave her council. Then she asked for five dollars for her services, Margo said she thought it was free. That's when Maybelle pointed out the asterisk and handed Margo a long list of exceptions. Margo gave her the money and asked if she would get the five dollars back if the advice turned out to be wrong. Maybelle told her it wasn't the rightness or wrongness she was paying for, she was paying for the certainty with which the message was issued.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Blue (A Ben Blue Novel) - Hollis

This was not on my assigned reading list, this one I read for pleasure.

Blue (A Ben Blue Western) by Lou Bradshaw
Ben Blue - New Mexico - rancher - cattle - horses - hams - Patty - rustlers - call to duty - marshall - Williams brothers - tenderfoot marshall - capture of stolen herd - jail break - trail into Sangre de Cristo Mountains - hostages - rescue - wounds - scalps - home - building a hacienda
This book was a good read. I really enjoyed it.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle