Revenge

I reckon y'all heard that the best revenge is living well. I were sitting on my front porch when it come to me that Hank Hankins done just that. You see his wife Glory Jean who were always a flashy type just itching to get herself in trouble, don't you know, run off and left him. She were attracted to a man from New Orleans she met at the Do Drop Inn. Drinking and all, don't you know. Hank were real let down when she left and walked around with a dark cloud over his head (you couldn't see it, but you knowed it were there) for about six months. One thing he done what were real smart, he canceled out all his credit cards and just started paying cash for stuff. And what he discovered were he were getting along a whole bunch better without Glory Jean around. One night he got him one of them long, yellow writing pads and drawed a line down it from top to bottom. And he commenced to write down all the bad things about having Glory around on the left side and he were intending to write all the good stuff on the right. Wouldn't you know he come up with having to keep turning the pages for the left side and he only come up with one thing on the right and that were she made real good strawberry short cake. What he done was go to Piggly Wiggly and asked Ms. Marshaller, the woman what runs the bakery part, how he could make his own strawberry shortcake and she give him the cake and sent him over to the produce for strawberries and to dairy for whipping cream and he went home and made one so good he were able to cross off the only entry on the right side of the pages. With all the money he were saving he bought him a used Thunderbird what you could take the top off and leave it at home. He were able to pay off all his bills and upped his tithe to the ten percent he ought to have been paying from the start.
Tomorrow I'll tell what happened to Glory Jean.

Liars

Now I ain't gonna try to tell y'all we ain't got some liars in Harper, but most of 'em is just fibbers. They ain't a outright liar. But James G. Fogglitz are a real boney fide liar. He has told more lies than Carter have liver pills. And he are unapologitz it about it. According to what I heard him say in the barbershop just yesterday he were a tight end for the Los Angles Rams back when they were in that city. Ain't nobody believe him anymore. Except his wife Merline Sue. But she are so gully bull she believe purty much anything. She told me once she had it on the best authority that man ain't never landed on the moon. She said it were all filmed in Arizona. I asked her how she were so sure and she said 'cause she had been to Arizona and there was parts of it what looked just like what she seen on the TV. She were so certain I was coming close to believing she were right. But I snapped out of it when I were no more than two blocks away from her.

Having Fun

Me and Dorothy went over to her brother's house in Foxworth the other day. What was amazing to me were how much stuff his grandchildren had got for Christmas. When I remarked on it, her brother said we ain't seen nothing 'cause them kids had more stuff over at their own house. What we seen all over the his place was the toys what they left there to play with when they visited.
Now when we was kids we had to make our own toys for the most part. Why we could spend hours just playing with a stick. One of the things what we made up a lot were kites. We could take the funny papers, sticks from the chinaberry tree, and paste made from flour and water and make a bang-up good kite. We used old pieces of cloth for a tail. I remember one time when a bunch of us brought our kites out to Titus Miller's cow pasture and had a kit flying contest. One of the problems were when the kites got too high the weight of the string were so much it would start running parallel to the ground, kinda low like, don't ya know. Somebody got the bright idea of launching a second kite and tying that string to the low lying string of the first kite. This sent that string way up and kept things going. Before we was through we had seven kites flying, each one holding up the string of the kite sent up before that one. The first kite by that time were out of sight.