Jack and His Family Leave

Jack and Lou Ann and their grandchildren, Benjamin and Franklin, piled into the rented car with the Louisiana license plate and headed for New Orleans to catch their plane to San Francisco, California. It stopped raining and was warmer so they had the top down. As they was leaving Lou Ann gave me a big hug and told me how happy she was that they came. The boys did the same and lo and behold so did Jack.
He said we'll see you soon, Pop, (that's what they all call me.)
So they drove off and left me and Doreen standing there. Hollis was at school so it was just me and my pretty daughter standing there waving them off. I have to admit my prayers has been two-thirds answered.
Now if I can figure some way to get Bill back on board. I always figured he would be the easiest to get back, but I had no idea what a creep he has become. Now I want y'all to know I know some real good lawyers. Some of the best people I know. But Willie's boy Charles and my boy Bill ain't in there amongst "em.
Tomorrow: Oprah Gets Ready for Australia

Hollis' funny name of the day:
Tillie Aster came close to becoming an old maid

Me and Lou Ann Have a Chat

Me and Lou Ann talked but not in the boat. She ain't too good with water. We was sitting on the porch of the big house on the lake side. The porch runs all the way around the house, but the lake side is fixed up with a swing and rocking chairs. We was rocking away and talking a bunch. She told me what a good husband Jack had been. He was kind and considerate and was always telling her how much he loved her. Now, I never would have guessed it. She said she had for years tried to get him to call me or to come for a visit, but he was too ashamed for how he did when he was young. I asked her if she thought he was afraid if he did hurry up and come over I might be dead before he did. And she said she didn't want to say it, but she was sure that was a big reason. Lou Ann told me all their children was good and working hard to raise their families. She showed me pictures and I swear there's something real pretty about that Chinese/English/German/French mixture. They was all beautiful. I hope one day they will all come to Harper to see me.
Tomorrow: Jack and His Family Leave

Hollis' funny name of the day:
U. Wall is from the South

The New Doreen

After Jack went off in that car he rented, Doreen wanted me to take her out in the boat, just the two of us. I figured she wanted to talk and I figured right. When we got out to the middle she started off just like Jack,
spouting all kind of stuff. She was sorry she hadn't treated me good all these years. She was sorry she had married those two no-good fellows, the gambler and the drunkard. She said she knew they was rotten but figured she could change them. Seems like I heard that story before. She had a new job and was making good helping to manage this gravel company where she lives. And she, I'll have to say, was as pretty as she used to be. She got rid of that black nail polish and that dark, dark lipstick. And her hair was all one color. Her dress was real pretty and not hippy-like which was what she wore before. And she was using good English. Better'n me of course, but I ain't got no reason to and she does. She is going to a Methodist Church right regular and sings in the choir. I reckon that's alright, but ever time I been to the Methodists all their songs sounded just alike to me. So as we was rowing in Doreen promised me she was going to do better and I believed her.
Tomorrow: Me and Lou Ann Have a Chat

Hollis' funny name of the day:
Rudy Wade King was caught off guard

Jack Comes Clean

After we woke up from our turkey naps, Jack asked me to go out in the boat with him again. When we was in the middle of Harper Lake, Jack commenced to crying and telling me how sorry he treated me like he done and how sorry he was about running off and leaving them girls carrying his babies. I told him I don't know what I would have done with two girls in trouble both at the same time. He didn't take no comfort in that and said he should have sent money or something. I told him both girls married good and they didn't have to worry about money. And then I told him something I hadn't planned on telling him. I told him about the money I give them boys (they was both boys) to go to college. They never knew it was me because I got Joe Diggins down at the bank to handle it for me. They both turned out successful and now was both married. Jack wanted to go and see them and to apologize and I didn't tell him he shouldn't. So he took off by himself in that rented car, but this time he had the top up. It turned cold last night and the wind is blowing today.
Tomorrow: The New Doreen

Hollis' funny name of the day:
Doug Welles is all wet

Thanksgiving Dinner With My Family, and More

We got Willie, Gladys, and some of their kids to join us for dinner. It was a real get-together. Jack was the most excited to see his old friends. Doreen come over from that little town where she lives and had a surprise for me. Jack knew about it because he had called her and told her about one of his inventions. It was a laser thing that they used to remove her tattoo. And it did a good job. Warn't nothing left but a little pink skin. She ain't advertising for Falstaff no more. Dorothy come over too. Her and Gladys took over the kitchen and brought out a great spread. The center piece was a big fried turkey. And two dressings, one with oysters, one without. Homemade cranberry sauce. Lots of vegetables: green beans, squash, collard greens, pink eyed peas, and a bunch of radishes, onions, pickles, olives, and carrots. For dessert we had pumpkin pie, pecan pie, banana pudding, coconut cake, and peach cobbler with homemade ice cream.
We was stuffed. After we finished we all sat in the living room of the big house. And you know what, we fell asleep, kinda in the order of our age. At least that's what they told me.
Tomorrow: Jack Comes Clean

Hollis' funny names:
Asa Diamond is a card
Denny Felder, den he got his face slapped

More About Bill

Jack probably said more'n he meant to, but he pretty much bad-mouthed Bill. Said he was selfish, stuck-up,
and a bad sport. Last time they met Bill bragged about how much money he was making and dropped the name of a whole bunch of movie stars. The only one I knew much about was Ben Johnson. Jack told me Ben died a few years ago. I didn't know that. He was real good in westerns. Bill told Jack that he was in the wrong business and that he's never make any real money in Silly Comb Valley. I asked Jack if he was happy doing what he was doing and kinda made him talk about his inventions. He worked on that grocery scanner thing and did some work on lasers for different kinds of medical stuff. He said when Doreen come over for Thanksgiving, she had a surprise that had to do with his work. I probably forgot to mention Doreen was coming over, but she is.
Tomorrow: Thanksgiving Dinner With My Family and More

Hollis' funny names:
Falinda Blank is unfulfilled
Ali Goverone is independent (I made this up last year and it took me a while to remember what it was)

What Jack Had to Say About Bill

Me and Jack went out in the boat like we used to when he was little. For a long while we didn't say nothing to each other. Then Jack commenced to talking and it was like the little boy took his finger out of the dike. He spouted out all kind of things. He met Lou Ann at Ole Miss. They sat close together in some lab (she was a Wu and as you know his name started with a "W" too.) They hit it off and dated all through college. She was from the Mississippi Delta region and her folks run some kind of store. He said he never told us none of this cause he was afraid what we would say. I mean come on. Then he said the reason he never come home much was he was ashamed. Not of us, but of what he done growing up. He said he had growed up a lot and was real sorry now. Lou Ann told him he better get home and make amends. I like that girl better all the time. I asked him if he ever saw Bill and he said he seen him three or four times since they left college. Bill made a lawyer and he's real big in Southern California doing stuff with the movies. I asked Jack if he thought Bill would ever come back to see us and Jack said he didn't reckon so.
Tomorrow: More About Bill

Hollis' funny names:
Ronnie Gnose has a cold
Letsa Moak is a nicotine fiend

Jack Arrives

Jack come in today. He drove up in a rented car with a Louisiana tag on it. And with him was his wife, a pretty woman of the Chinese persuasion, and two of his grand-kids, two good looking boys. You could count on Jack to have good looking people around him.
His wife, Lou Ann, was real nice to me. She kept bringing me things like coffee and cake and other treats. I liked her right off. And the boys couldn't get enough of my accent and the way I talked. They kept asking me to tell them about this and that--how the lake was made and named and what kind of fish we had in it.
They was named Franklin and Benjamin. I ain't joking. They was ten and eleven and had different mamas and daddies, but they looked enough alike to be brothers. I got them to tell me all about their life in California, but they seemed more interested in life in Harper.
Them boys almost fainted when Willie and me went out fishing together. They said this warn't what they heard about Mississippi. I said, " Well, if y'all won't believe everything you heard about Mississippi, I won't believe everything I heard about California."
Tomorrow: What Jack Had to Say About Bill

Hollis' funny names:
Perry Stall's sis is a mover
Oliver Moore is more devoted to his wife today than yesterday

Willie's Other Four Children

Willie and Gladys have worked hard to rear their eight kids. Willie was with the railroad, a car knocker. I don't reckon he missed one day of work in all the years he worked there. And Gladys was a nurse, a LPN, and she was real good about always being there.
Lester is the child that I think is the smartest. In fact he is smarter than most anybody I know. He went to Jackson State and then got a job with the highway department. He figures out where roads is going to be built.
June flies for Highsky Airways. She is a flight attendant (that's what Hollis says they called now) and she's been flying out of New Orleans for years. She's the only one that ain't got married, but they's some pilot that's always coming to Harper to see her.
Delores is a music teacher in the schools. Her choirs are real good. They been on nationwide tours.
And Charles. He's the one that's a lawyer. I can say a lot of real good things about Willie's kids and if I put my mind to it, I could probably find something good to say about Charles. Well he's got a wonderful mother and father. How about that?
They got so many grandchildren and great grandchildren, I ain't going to try to tell all about them.
Jack will be here tomorrow. Heaven help us.
Tomorrow: Jack and his Surprise

Hollis' funny names:
Simon Tayneous is a multi-tasker (thanks Lou)
Baretta Hatchet is forgiving

Willie's Kids (the Twins)

Hollis got back in from the Ole Miss/LSU football game too late to post last night. Ole Miss lost, but they played alright I reckon.
One of Willie's kids went to LSU. I think it was Charles, the lawyer. It'd be just like him to go down yonder to go to school. Willie and Gladys got eight children. One day when me and Willie was fishing, instead of just funning around, I got serious and asked him why he had so many children. He said Gladys loved children and as long as he could take care of them without having to depend on charity he reckoned it was okay. I say better'n okay. They all turned out excellent. I asked him one day how he managed to have such good kids and he said, "Me and Gladys just saw to it."
The first kids they had was two sets of twins. Yep. Lois and Lola first. And then Larry and Barry. Lois and Lola is both teachers. They stayed right here in Harper and taught black children until they was able to teach all the children. They always getting rewards. Larry and Barry is both preachers. In Georgia. They both got big churches and word is out they saving souls all over the south.
Tomorrow: The Other Four Kids

Hollis' funny names:
Juan Moore never gets enough
Ophelia Payne is empathetic

Note from Baton Rouge

Sorry I went to Ole Miss / LSU football game today and did not bring my notes from Uncle Harvey Lee.
Tomorrow I will post his report on his friend Willie's children.
Uncle Harvey Lee tells me over and over how thankful he is to all those that check in on his blog. He wonders where the viewers live. There is a listing for those outside the United States, but individual cities and states are not listed. If you would be kind enough to list your city and state (one time only) under comments Uncle Harvey Lee can tell where his followers live.

Thanks
Hollis

My Friend Willie

Jack will be here, I think, on Tuesday. Maybe Wednesday. I have to wonder what kind of surprise he's bringing. That's what he told Hollis. Me and Hollis got the big house ready. Dorothy gave her blessing on our work, so I'm sitting around waiting. I'm gonna round up my friend Willie and we gonna go fishing. Me and Willie fish together at least once a week. Willie would be the one I would have put in Reader's Digest as my most unforgettable character. He has made a great life for himself and his family and without all the advantages he would have had if he was white. All his kids, all eight of 'em, finished college. I'll tell about them later. They are all good people. And his wife is the perfect mate, I think. She don't put up with no foolishness though. From Willie or me. She come over one day back when I was drinking and gave me what for. I didn't stop right that day, but I think she got me lined up to give up all that bad stuff. Back when my oil money come in I tried to give Willie some help, with all those children, you know. He wouldn't hear about it. I did sneak in a little scholarship money to some of the schools for a few of his kids. Don't want him to know. He won't be reading any of this, cause I made Hollis promise not to spread the word around Harper. You know about me doing these little stories.
Tomorrow: Willie's Kids

Hollis' funny names:
Mose Ian Down is laid back
Adelia Card is from Vegas

My Friend Dorothy

Dorothy runs the cafe in Harper. She is without a doubt the best cook in the world. It's because of the different kinds of things she makes. Like tripe in cream and onion sauce and catfish in tomato and okra sauce. She makes it all without breaking a sweat and she don't have no writ down recipes. It's all in her head. I asked her what we would do if she ever got where she couldn't cook. And she said, well you wouldn't be able to eat at Dorothy's Cafe would you? Most everything she makes comes from the lake or local farms, not much bussed in, don't you know.
Dorothy is more'n a cook to me. We are what I like to call special friends. It's not like we do a lot of cuddling or anything like that, but we love to sit in the swing on her front porch and talk or not talk, whatever we want to do.
Like I told y'all I been married three times. Dorothy ain't never been married. Her boyfriend was killed in Viet Nam, early on. I guess you can tell from that she's a lot younger than me. But that's okay. I knowed her since she was a little girl. I guess that's why I hold her in such great respect.
Tomorrow: My Friend Willie

Hollis' funny names:
Vera Rude is not a nice person
Miss Bea Haven is out of control

Dueling Arias

I think I told y'all my daddy lived with this Italian family before WWII when he was working out of New Orleans. He was working out in the gulf, one week out and one week in, so he spent a lot of time with the Ponti family. He learned to love Italian food and Italian opera. People around here thought it was strange. They mostly listened to the Grand Ole Opry and church music. My daddy had this Victrola (the one with a crank handle) and about 25 records. And he played them in the living room of our house. Puccini and Verdi mostly. Seemed like he couldn't get enough and I heard the arias so much that eventually I knew the next note that was coming.
My mamma never took on to it and was in the kitchen most times listening to country on this plastic radio that sat on a shelf above the sink. Well, in the middle of the house it was crazy. Mimi vs. Kitty Wells and Rodolfo vs. Ernest Tubb. Now, I like 'em both.
Hollis give me this little doo-flicky called an ipod. He put a whole bunch of opera and opry music on it and
now I can listen all day to either one.
Tomorrow: My Friend Dorothy

Hollis' funny names:
Marty Pantz is a know-it-all
Tarzan Feathers was run out of town

Sampson the Cat (cont.) by Hollis

       Eyes on his prey, he waits, invisible in his stillness. He slinks closer, but only by millimeters and only when the unsuspecting victim is focused on other things.
       Twenty-five minutes into his quest, Sampson senses a slight signal of vulnerability in the tiny mouse, now only a few feet away. The little tiger springs across the green living room carpet. Into his eyes flash the tall grasses of the jungle. Small involuntary muscles unsheathe claws, razor sharp from daily workouts on an old scratching pad. Primitive sounds and smells meld in his brain. "Grrrrr," he roars.
       A slight quiver just before impact provides the only evidence the mouse is aware of the attack. Sampson would prefer to taunt and tease his victim, but his claws are too sharp and one is driven deep into a vital organ. Perhaps this is the only kindness in the whole operation.
       A second later the deed is done.
Tomorrow: Dueling Arias

Hollis' funny names:
Justin Thyme is punctual
Bud Tugley ain't a pretty sight

Sampson the Cat by Hollis

       Sampson is a proud cat. Consider the evidence: a row of scratch marks on the baseboard behind the living room sofa, one for each rodent victim. And there is the thing he has with mirrors. I am amused by Sampson's attraction to his reflection. He thinks he's got a playmate. Good company for a lonely cat. But the cat recognizes his image. He is not interested in play. Preening and flexing and posing are his games.
       He fancies himself a tiger, maybe because of his orange and black stripes, but probably some genetic code presents mere tendencies as a false identity. So he acts a tiger's part, particularly while on the hunt. Sometimes his pursuit lasts for long minutes. Other times he finds success almost as soon as the hunt begins. Sampson prefers the long stalk. Winning isn't the issue--he almost always wins--the chase is his passion.
Tomorrow: Sampson the Cat (cont.)

Hollis' funny names:
Dedmond Walkin is doomed
Candy Liver is dependable

Finishing Touches

Getting the big house ready has been a big job. Hollis let me know that Jack said they would need six beds.
Good Lord, I said, what all kinda people they bringing with 'em? Cause you see last I seen Jack they was just one of him. Now looks like he done branched out some. Dorothy is gonna take care of little things like putting flowers in all the rooms. We is having fall here now and can leave the windows open. Ain't nobody gonna come in and bother nothing. Ain't much to bother. We gonna go to DealMart and buy one of them wide screen television sets and get the satellite dish hooked up again. I use a aerial myself cause I can pick up the Jackson channel that shows Oprah. That's about all I watch. Sometime this preacher from Texas, but not much else. Except baseball and football. And ever now and then Bill O'Riley and Greta What's-her-name, but not much else. Except Al, that morning weatherman. We got this old cat, Sampson, been hanging around the big house for years. He manages to get by real good without our help. Hollis wrote a little story about Sampson when he watched him catch a mouse one day. I'm gonna let him tell that for a while.
Tomorrow: Samson the Cat

Hollis' funny names:
Kumquat May is mellow
Lisa Karr gets a new vehicle every year

Opening Up the Big House

Like I told you I been living down in my fishing cabin for a while now. It's big enough for me and easy to keep up. I was raised in a big house about half way around the lake. It used to belong to my momma's family. They was big in the town. Her daddy was a judge. I been before him myself a couple of time when I was a youngun. Like I told y'all, my daddy was wounded in WWII and died a year after he come back. My momma never recovered, but she kept up the house and after me and Bethel got married we moved in with her. We didn't have to worry too much about money and we really didn't have to worry after the oil money came in. Sometimes I think I might have made more of myself if I hadn't had all them dollars coming up out of the ground. But that's okay. I done alright.
Me and Hollis been going up to the big house everyday, airing it out and sending the curtains to the cleaners and stuff like that. We even got some carpet cleaners in and hired a woman to scrub it up real good. My friend Dorothy looks in on us to make sure we doing everything right.
Tomorrow: Finishing Touches

Hollis' funny names:
Rob Banks is a felon
Sheila Taku is agressive

Planning Food

Figuring out what to have to eat is gonna be a problem. You see, Jack has been living out in California for a long time and I think they eat a lot different than we do down here. Maybe he wants some of the old stuff because he is coming back home after all. But maybe not. Now, Dorothy, my good friend, down at the cafe can cook most anything, but she might not even know the names of some of the things they eat out there. At least that's what Hollis thinks. Hollis is gonna do what he calls research. He told me last night where it is Jack's been working. Silly Comb Valley. They do all kind of computer stuff out there and from what I've read a lot of things that just ain't good sense. Jack'll be home in just two weeks so we are getting the big house ready. It's just been sitting there since I moved to the lake. I do go by once a week and flush all the toilets, eight of 'em, and run water in all the drains. Swamp gas, you know. At least that's what I call it.
Tomorrow: Opening Up the Big House

Hollis' funny names:
Barney Ard is a farmer
Noah Count is a loser

Getting Ready for Jack

You know I ain't seen Jack in over thirty years. Like I said it's kinda painful for him to come, but I really do want to see him. He told Hollis he was bringing a surprise. Now that may be a good thing, but I has my doubts. I told y'all all the stuff he was into when he was in school back here. Hollis said Jack helped invent that little do-ma-hitchie that they run your groceries over and it adds up your cost. They don't have that in the Neighbor Pantry, our local grocery store, but they has 'em down at DealMart in the next county. Hollis said that when they first got 'em in down there a rich looking lady accidentally ran her diamond ring over the glass and it added $25,000.00 on the bill. He was just funning of course, but for a minute I thought it wouldn't be out of the way for Jack to build something like that into his machine.
Well, I got to get ready for Jack and his surprise and I also got to get ready for Doreen and whatever nonsense she's gonna bring over. I wish Bill was coming too.
Tomorrow: Planning Food

Hollis' funny names:
Rhonda Bend lives near-by
Helen Wheels is a speed demon

Pursued by the Churches

Hollis has something to do tonight so the post will be early today.
Back when we first hit oil, Henrietta Dolittle come up to me on the street and said didn't all that noise the oil well made wake me up at night. I said it sure did. About 2 AM every night it woke me up, but I just smiled and turned over and went back to sleep. You know having all that oil money ain't made much difference in my life. I thought for a while some, well almost all, of the churches in the county was after me for my money. But I started giving to all of them anyway and they still was after me. I guess they ain't chasing my money. They chasing my soul. A while back I told you how painful it was to sit in the churches where my Bethel and Mary Kate used to sit beside me. And I ain't got no desire to go to them revivals where Trixie was lured off by one of them tent preachers. So for right now I'll continue to take King James down beside the lake every Sunday morning and feel the Glory of the Lord there. Might not be right, but that's where I am right now.
Tomorrow: Getting Ready for Jack

Hollis' funny names:
Mae Bloom never did
Warren Peace is bi-polar

Oil

Some people have contacted Hollis, privately, with concern about me living in near poverty. Just to clear things up, I ain't got no money problems. Oil. Years ago they struck oil on some property my daddy bought when he come back to Harper after the war. People thought he was crazy. They wondered why he wanted to buy land that just sat there and had a tax bill every year. Taxes to make the sheriff rich. But daddy said no telling what that property could do for him. It's a shame he didn't live to see how much money it brought in. Anyway my mamma seen it. But none of us act like we got a dime over just getting by. Kinda runs in my family. Besides I hate to buy cars or clothes of any kind, especially underwear. Who cares if you got holes in your shorts. Besides who would know? Unless you had to go to the hospital and warn't awake enough to hold on to your pants.
Not too many people have no idea how much money I got and I ain't telling now. But I got enough to last me a long time. And people around here know that Hollis ain't paying all this attention to me because I got a lot of money. His grandpa, my daddy's brother, bought up more land than my daddy. So, Hollis is doing all right.
Tomorrow: Pursued by the Churches

Hollis' funny names:
Denise Knox is nervous
Brenda Rules will compromise

A Call from Jack

Jack called today. He talked to Hollis and told him he's coming back to Harper for a visit. He plans to stay a week. All you people in Harper County, lock up your wives and daughters. You know pretty boy is the one I told you about who got two girls in trouble at the same time. You know the one who's been cursed with good looks. Well, he's been out west in Oregon or Alaska or somewhere being a engineer. The kind that works with electricity. I heard he invented some kind of laser lamp or something. He don't call home and I ain't sure I'm glad he's coming or not. I mean it'd be good to see him, but I just get bad feelings about what he's about to do or what I'm gonna find out he's already done. No telling. He's due in next week. Oh, my. Oh, my. Hollis says not to worry. Everything's gonna be alright. I hope so cause I don't want Bethel, my one true love, to be turning over in her grave.
Tomorrow: Oil

Hollis' funny names:
Bertha de Bluze is jazzy
Delon Granger works alone

Aftermath

You know I ain't thought about it much, but Miss June if she's still breathing would be more'n ninety years old. She don't know it I guess but she cause a whole bunch of trouble for Harper County. When I was a teenager and even when I was a young married man, I took notice of some of the old womens at church giving the evil eye to the young pretty womens. And you know even after they found out they was wrong they just kept right on gossiping about other peoples. I guess they figured since there warn't now special words saying directly "Thou shalt not gossip" they was home free. And worse than that Harper lost some of its innocence. A lot of it. Since then we've had dozens of murders in the county and drugs are everywhere and mens is beating up on womens. Not to mention all the babies borned who will never know
who they daddy is. Yeah, I think Miss June was the start of all that. A feller said to me they have stuff like that going on everywhere and Miss June wadn't in all them places. And I said I reckon she was but her name just wadn't June.
Tomorrow: A Call from Jack

Hollis' funny names:
Ben Dunn is sunburned
Jason Dames is a womanizer

We Find Out Who the Romancing Was With

After she was let out, Miss June went back north to cereal town. And she never told who the other party in her husband's fooling around was. It was over twenty years before we found out. During that time more'n one woman was forced into bad times by the gossip. One young woman, a WWII widow, left Harper and moved back to her parents in Arkansas. Then in the late 60's Horace Buckmaster, who owned the local dry cleaners, got real sick and was in the hospital for several weeks. He got real weak and I guess he realized his hours was numbered, so it put him into a confessing mood. He told several people it was him that the doctor was messing around with. We couldn't believe it, but it did answer the question on why Miss June wouldn't say who the other one was. That wrapped up the first murder in Harper and the first time we had two mens acting around together.
At least that we knew about.
Tomorrow: Aftermath

Hollis' funny names:
Donny Brook is rowdy
Hung Chow is constipated

June McKinley's Motive

During her jail time a lot of us young boys talked about her and how sorry we was she was behind bars.
Back then we went to a lot of picture shows and a lot of them was about prison. The men in prison did alright and some of 'em learned how to be better gangsters. But the womens had it rougher. They did laundry and worked in the kitchen and there was cat fights almost all the time. We worried about Miss June
because like I said we was all in puppy love with her.
It came out in the trial that Miss June had found out about some outside romancing the doctor was all into.
Seemed he used his examining room for more than treating disease. There was a lot of guessing about who the party of the second part was and lots of young womens in town was under the watchful eye of all the town gossips.
Tomorrow: We Find Out Who the Romancing Was With
Hollis' funny names:
Ida Claire always makes a statement
Emma Longfellow likes tall guys

Sentencing a Beauty Queen

Now, I need to explain how we just missed having that murder happen somewhere else. You see, Dr. Mckinley were a Ear, Eye, Nose and Throat doctor. Mostly ears so we heard. When he come before the hospital board in the next county down they turned him down for hospital staff. It was said there was already a ear doctor and he didn't want no competition. Well, Dr. McKinley warn't nobody's fool he found the had two proctorcologist on staff and only one EENT, so he explained that since people had two ears and only one well, you-know-what, he ought to be accepted. Well they bought it. I heard a fellow say that if that was the standard they used, then the hospital ought to have more'n a thousand proctorcologists since we had so many you-know-whats living in Harper County.
We heard the doctor's wife got convicted. Got twelve years and was let out in four for good behavior. We figured she may have been let out for good looks.
Tomorrow: June McKinley's motive

Hollis' funny names:
Howell Ling is noisy
Libby T. Bell cracks me up

Trial Moved to Jackson

Then the sheriff come out with the doctor's wife and guided her to his car. She took a seat in the back and Silent Schultz climbed in beside her. He warn't saying nothing as you might of guessed. But she was sniveling, not outright crying, just sniveling. And they drove off and that's the last we seen of our beauty queen. Somehow her lawyer got the trial moved to Jackson. Said she couldn't get a fair trial in Harper County. Probably right. We not only lost a doctor, but had a blot put on our years of harmony.
The sheriff, Frank Lee Sumlin, was like most sheriffs back then. He came in to office poor and left rich. You see the sheriff back then was also the tax collector and got a piece of the action. So the sheriff took his big car and drove June McKinley to Jackson where she was jailed and in a couple of months stood trial for the murder of her husband, the doctor.
Tomorrow: Sentencing a Beauty Queen

Hollis' funny names:
Gene Poole looks like his father
Tobey Arnautoby is an enigma

The Bloody Spot

Willie and me got up as close as we could without getting sent back to our car. That's one of the things I liked about Willie. He warn't scared of much of nothing. Dead bodies, sheriffs, silent deputies. Willie was pointing toward the stretcher and grabbing my arm to get my attention. That's when I seen the bloody spot coming the sheet right where the heart would be.  Me and Willie talked it over and wisdom told us it warn't no accident that could cause a wound right in that spot. So we figured: the doctor's house, a man's shoe (polished) and the bloody spot right over the heart. It had to be murder.

After a while we seen the sheriff coming through the door. He was holding somebody by their arm.
It was the doctor's wife.
Tomorrow: Trial Moved to Jackson

Hollis' funny names:
Fonda Guise likes boys
Claude Ball used to have a cat

The Sheet Slips Up

Like I was telling y'all the undertaker and his flunky was carrying out this stretcher with a body all covered in white sheets. I forget the undertakes's name, probably on purpose. He was kinda creepy with long, skinny arms and long, skinny fingers and you know what, his eye teeth was real long. We kids used to think he was a vampire, but we warn't too worried cause we figured he had plenty of blood to drink if that's what he after, as long as people kept dying which we figured they would. It's like I told this stranger visiting Harper last year. We was having a bunch of rain. I mean more'n usual and this fellow walked up to me as I was sitting out under the shed in front of the bus station. He asked me if I thought it was ever gonna
stop raining. Well I told him it always had. I mean somethings you can just count on. People dying, rain stopping, and strangers asking stupid questions. I asked this stranger where he was from and he said Louisiana. That's all I needed to know. Anyway we figured folks would keep on dying, of course, at that time we had no idea some of 'em was gonna get murdered.
Willie and me got as close as we could and lo and behold if that flunky didn't loose his footing and almost dropped that stretcher. What happened was the sheet slipped up enough to show a man's shoe, all polished and everything.
Tomorrow: The Bloody Spot

Nils Downe is very devout
Harry Legg is hirsute