Shovels

What we needed here in Harper this week was snow shovels. I don't think there was one to be found. I kind of made a little game of asking people what kind of shovels they had in their garages or barns. The types mentioned were spades (a lot of people have those), grain shovels, roofing shovels, square shovel,  and trenching shovels. One guy even had a coal shovel that he inherited from an uncle up in Pennsylvania. I think next time I go to Jackson or New Orleans I will look for a snow shovel. My having one may just keep the snow away. I'm not superstitious but after our first child we gave away our crib. After the second child we gave away that crib too, After the third child we put the crib in the attic and we didn't have any more children. I'm just saying.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Ducks Only, Please

This morning when I looked out my back window I saw that Harper Lake was frozen over. I reckon the ice was less than a half inch thick, not enough to support anything larger than a duck. I did see a family of ducks skidding around on the surface, but they were gone by the time I got my camera out. I guess they were camera-shy. A few minutes ago I spotted Hazelhurst Westbrook headed down to the lake with a pair of ice skates over his shoulder. I walked out and told him a little white lie. I said the ice would not support him and I was certain about it because I saw a mother duck go walking out and the ice broke through. I retrieved her but not in time to save her from drowning. Hazelhurst bought this sorry tale. I can't imagine anyone would believe that a duck had drowned but now I know there is at least one human being on earth that would. I doubt I saved Hazelhurst from drowning but maybe I prevented a bad case of pneumonia.

ps. Somebody else caught them.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

An Unexpected Guest

As I was telling yesterday we have snow here in Harper County. We are not equipped to handle such a thing and cars have been sliding all over the road. One of Dorothy's friends, a woman who used to play Bridge with her, had an unfortunate accident during all this confusion. A driver coming from the other direction swerved and the friend hit a curb and came into a neighbor's yard to keep from colliding with him. I happened to be looking out the front window at the falling snow and saw the whole thing. I called Dorothy and she bundled up and we walked out to see if we could help. The friend was in tears and said she had three miles to go and had been traveling for two hours just to cover the two miles from where she worked to the site of the accident. Dorothy did not hesitate to welcome her into our home. We had a nice supper of chicken and wild rice soup with avocado salad. The friend was given access to the second floor with bed, bath, and den. We did not disturb her and she slept until after eight this morning. She said she usually arises at 5 AM without an alarm but was so exhausted she right through. We had a nice breakfast and lunch and were settling down to the weather news when she received a call from her husband. He had just been able to get his truck up the hill in his neighborhood and was headed to pick her up. It took him over an hour to cover the three miles to our house. She just left. Glad we could help.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Preparing for More Snow

It's happening again. Snow. This is strange; going from snow every seven years when I was a boy to snow every year. And this year twice. People down here go nuts even when a few flakes are falling. I looked out the front window this morning at the traffic on Harper Lake Road. There was not five seconds that passed without another car or truck. I reckon the Piggly Wiggly will run out of milk and bread like they usually do when a flake is spotted on a windshield. Thank goodness for Dorothy. She can whip up a loaf of bread in no time flat. And the house smells good too. We have milk frozen in the downstairs freezer, all our prescriptions have been filled, and the firewood is stacked close to the back door. We are ready.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Wasted Letters

I got to thinking this morning when I heard people on the TV talking about the money we waste as a country. It occurred to me that if we wrote the way most people talk we could save a ton of money on paper, ink, and other printing supplies, not to mention time.  Down here hardly anybody speaks a word that ends in "ing" by pronouncing the "g". We say runnin', drivin', swimmin' etc. Now the important thing is everybody understands what everybody is saying. I mean even people from up north that do pronounce the "g's". I  mean even people from England understand. I ain't no economist or CPA so I wouldn't be able to figure out what the savings would be, but I figure is you consider all the newspapers, all the books, and all the magazines that are printed everyday and multiply that number by all the years you want to consider it might turn out to be a bunch of money. Then we can get to work on that "ph" thing people use instead of "f". And all the words that contain what they call silent letters. If we really got to work on this a lot of adjectives and adverbs could be eliminated too, just by choosing the right noun or verb to express what we want to say. Got to be runnin cause I got to go to the farmacy to colect my hart pils.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

A Funny Guy

Clairborne Burnside is a funny guy. But not everybody appreciates his sense of humor. Actually very few people get what he's saying. This morning, as example, he came into the barbershop with a mischievous look in his eye. We all stopped what we were talking about and waited for him to speak.

He did speak. "This morning I read my Bible verse as I usually do and this is it."

Then he read to us from a little piece of paper he was holding:
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

After a pause, he said, "I've been thinking about this all the way down here and I have determined I ain't got nothing to say. Nothing to say to none of you."

With that Claiborne turned and walked out. I reckon you got to understand that guy to see where he's coming from. One thing I know he'll be back tomorrow with more of his silliness. 

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Snow in Harper

It don't happen often, more now than when I was a boy, but we got some overnight snow here in Harper. Our driving was not affected that much, there may have been a little more traffic than usual with people out gawking at the white stuff. Something I noticed was things you can see with snow on the ground that you can't without it. I reckon the snow just makes things stand out more. Looking across the lake I can clearly see Dr. Hoke's house up through the trees. When the ground is devoid of snow it is hardly visible. Maybe noticeable is a better word. This morning J.K. Mullinhouse was telling how disappointed his little grandson was that school was not canceled. I did notice when passing the school the kids were out on the playground building snowmen and throwing snowballs, having fun while it lasts. I figure most will be gone by noon tomorrow.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Double Trouble

It's happened again. Years ago my middle boy, Jack, had a little problem with a couple of girls. He got both of them in a family way at the same time. It presented a real dilemma since he could only marry one woman at a time. Anyway, it all worked out. Both girls had their babies and married other fellows. We saw to it that those children were taken care of. I won't get into all that here but we did.
Zasarus Smith was bemoaning the fact that his youngest boy, Hayworth, was in the middle of the same predicament. Zasarus runs a farm and often lends (for a fee) his big bull for servicing other peoples cows. One fellow spoke up and said he figured Hayworth would bring in more money than any old bull if Zasarus would just demand payment from the girls daddies. We got a little laugh, but only for a moment when we settled down to how serious the matter really is.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Zasper's Will

Zasper Jenkins was spouting off this morning down at the barbershop. Seems he saw this news show on the importance of making out a will, so he did. He was telling us he was leaving his buildings in downtown Harper to his son, Darwell; his houses on the lake to his daughter Mildred and her husband; his country club properties to his son Millard; and all the rest would go to his wife Marletta. Before you get the wrong idea I need to tell you Zasper wasn't bragging or anything like that, he was just dividing up his paper route. I reckon that's okay too.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Keeping Our Roadside Clean

I ain't one to constantly complain about how our county works, but I am upset about the way the road cleanup is being handled around here. A couple of years ago a storm came through and dropped a number of tree limbs on the road. A road crew got right on it and removed the limbs from the road. The problem is they didn't haul them off. They just moved them to the side of the road. And there they lay today. When the movers come (they do a good job keeping the grass down) they move the limbs out of their way and leave them roadside. This has been going on for years. It is necessary to mow several times a month during the summer. It would seem a much easier task to haul these limbs off once and for all. And things sure would look better. I have sent several letters to the county telling them my views. I am beginning to get the feeling there may be more than laziness and inefficiency in their motives.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Afternoon Coffee

One of the great pleasures of life, to me, is an afternoon cup of coffee. Most days I have this at home but now and then I go down to the cafe and enjoy my beverage with a bunch of guys that meet there for a late day lift. Today, there were eight of us sitting around sipping from our mugs. The cafe keeps a mug for each person who sees fit to leave one there. Several schools and a couple of cities are advertised on these cups. Mine says simply HLM, my initials. It is a cup one of my grandkids made for me when she was in a pottery class. It ain't much for drinking (a little bid drips off with each sip) yet I can't imagine not using it. Unless she saw sit to make me another one that would not leak. This is not a hint, but I wouldn't care if it was taken that way.
This afternoon on TV there was an item about people not sleeping as good when they consumed late day caffeine. Some people (including me) are not aware of this without getting all hooked up to computers to study the quality and quantity of their rest. I'll just keep drinking my coffee and forego being wired up to benefit somebody else's study.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Lonely Roads

I been watching football. But, something came up that got me out on the roads. One of Zeke Haskillton's cows got out and ended up in a ditch that had a barbed wire fence running across it. It's in what they call a precarious position; can't move to either side, straight ahead, or back up. I got a special tool that I designed to hold wire up and let the old animal have a chance to escape. I was a little upset to leave the game and told Zeke to just cut the wires and I would help him repair the fence tomorrow. He wouldn't do that because the guy who put up the fence has been feuding with Zeke for about ten years. Cutting his wires would be the spark that set off the powder keg according to Zeke. So I got out on the lonely roads on my mission. It appears just about everybody in Harper is glued to their TV sets except me and Zeke. One of the quarterbacks has Mississippi connections, doncha know?

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

The Naked and the Dead (Hollis)

The Naked and the Dead by Norman Mailer
WWII - Anopopei Island - Japanese held - Invasion by US - Gen. Cummings, ego, homosexual tendencies - Lt. Hearn, rich, socialist ideas - Sgt. Croft, tough Texan, cruel, demanding - Gallagher, Boston Irish, anti-Semite - Wilson, poor southerner, happy-go-lucky, Red, afraid of commitment -
Martinez, Mexican-American, brave - Roth, superiority complex, physically weak - Goldstein - Jewish, well respected - Brown, college dropout, consumed with thoughts his wife is unfaithful - Stanley, quiet feminist - Polack, orphan, tough, courageous - Ridges, the preacher - Toyaku Line - Mt. Anaka - brotherhood. An excellent novel that needs to be studied and not just read.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Doorknobs

Doorknobs have only one purpose, opening doors. Or do they? When I was a boy I had an old aunt who saved all the rubber bands she came across by hooking them over her bedroom doorknob. When it got too full she would throw away all the old ones and start over. I never figured that out but I reckon it was kind of a hobby. The main secondary use of doorknobs was hanging your coat or sweater there when you came in out of the cold. Winter months would find a coat on almost every doorknob that was available. My Uncle Seldrew came up with the idea of making a coatrack out of doorknobs and he did. Much to his dismay the coatrack stood empty while the knobs on the doors were covered as usual.
I was telling Hollis about this and he looked on the interweb and found a bunch of other people who had come up with this doorknob coatrack idea. I hope they were more successful than Uncle Seldrew.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Boat Repair

I just got in from repairing an old boat that's been sitting in dry dock for over a year. It's fiberglass and I didn't know much about how to go about fixing it. I fixed a lot of wood boats in my day. Finally, I sent off for a kit. I got Cletus Flemn to help me. Cletus ain't much for reading directions but he is a whiz at following any direction that's spelled out for him. We made a pretty good team. First we cut away the damaged area in a little circular move. Then we sanded everything (probably more than we needed) and wiped the area down with acetone to make sure it was clean as could be. Then we cut a piece about an inch bigger than the hole and used the special glue that came with the kit to anchor it on. We spent the rest of the day sanding. I figure we'll let it sit for several days, maybe even weeks, since the weather is a little on the cold side for fishing right now here on Harper Lake. Anyway I feel good about our day's work.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Life Ain't Fair or Is It?

Last month one of our citizens passed on. His name was Guido Pharr and him and his wife ran a little Italian restaurant out on Harper Lake Road. They were open only Thursday through Sunday for lunch and supper, but they had a real good business. When Guido died we all expected that his wife, Maydelle, would keep it open. However, there was a fly in the ointment that none of us knew a thing about. Guido and Maydelle never bothered to get hitched. And what's worse Guido had a wife and kids living in New Orleans. The kids are all grown and never were told a thing about Guido's new home or new live-in partner. It seems the wife was happy to receive a little money each month and had made no effort to get a divorce. With him dead and the dollars halted she found a lawyer and was awarded the restaurant. The problem: she can't cook and has no business sense. Yesterday, we found out she has moved in with Maydelle and they plan to operate the restaurant together. They decided to open six days a week so me and Dorothy ate there last night and I'll have to say the food was better than ever. I reckon they figured out how to deal with their little problem.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Stick Furniture

This morning down at the barbershop Jackson Coldtree came in and was talking about the stick furniture business he has set up. He makes chairs, tables, bed posts, and a bunch of other furniture items all out of sticks he gathers in the woods. His pickup is usually filled with sticks of all kinds and shapes. Now, most of the stuff he makes is only suitable for the porch of a cabin or maybe even for inside a fishing cabin, but every now and again he comes out with a real work of art. Like this bedstead he made. I reckon it must have way over a hundred pieces of wood and he has sanded and polished it to perfection. We were teasing him about how his wife hates this kind of furniture. It is well known that when she was a youngster and a real pretty girl at that, she was a finalist in the Miss Harper contest and was considered the favorite until the swimsuit competition. She made the mistake of sitting in a wicker chair just before prancing onto the stage. I reckon I can see why she holds that against this kind of workmanship.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Success

One of Dorothy's friends called me last night and asked me for a favor. It seems her little granddaughter has an assignment in school that requires her to interview a local citizen on the subject of success. The young girl for some reason thought of me. I reckon that should make me proud but it left me curious as to why she would think of me as successful. Anyway I thought about it and came up with a little talk to give my views on the subject. This is what I used in my little interview:

When I think of success two stories come to mind. In the first story we find a man sitting in the back of a limousine wearing a three thousand dollar suit. He has a Rolex watch on his wrist and is sipping a martini. This entrepreneur is on his way to a banquet to receive an award. The alarm on his iphone sounds reminding him to take the medicine for his blood pressure, diabetes, arthritis, and also a couple of pills for a nervous condition brought on by the stress of the day. He smiles and thinks of how far he has come.

At the same exact moment in time a man sits beside his hut in the South American jungle. He is naked. Within in his reach there is a berry bush and when hunger calls he picks food for his sustenance. He bathes in the river and hunts with a spear and knife he has made from stone. If he becomes ill there is no modern medicine to save him. But he does not know this and is content with his world.

When I think of success I imagine a man or woman who lives their life somewhere between these two individuals.  They don’t have everything they want, but have everything they need. The important thing is that they understand the difference.

I hope I didn't let the little girl down.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Picture Show

When I was a boy movies were called picture shows. We went a lot, sometimes three or four times a week. I reckon this was partly because it didn't cost much, but mostly because we didn't have TV's, DVD, or any other of those other letters available to us. I would get off work, walk down to the theater, watch a show, and then walk home late at night. It was spooky and I was scared each time I made that walk, but not scared enough to make me skip a picture show. Today, the movie house is closed. The seats sit empty. Even in the next county which is bigger than Harper County all the movie theaters are closed. We were discussing this at the barbershop this morning and one fellow said he thought the situation was a lot like Los Angeles not having a professional football team. I shook my head and said, "Yeah, it's just like Los Angles not having a football team." Come on now.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Homemade Music

Today, me and Dorothy went down to the next county to hear a little music. Every Friday around noon they have local bands to play in a little outside concert area. We had the pleasure of hearing the Flimflam Band, a family group that makes all their own instruments. Nothing is store-bought. One of the members plays on glasses with different amounts of colored water. Another had made a fiddle out of a heavy shoebox and fine wires. There are hubcaps and empty vegetable oil cans for percussion and a couple of guys whittled out piccolos and flutes. We heard everything from "She'll Be Coming Round the Mourtain" to "The William Tell Overture." It was pretty good considering. Dexter Flimwrithe is the band director and the man who started the whole thing up. He claims to be working on a piano out in his workshop. That I gotta see.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

Lazy Bull

Millard Putzhand has what we call a lazy bull. The bull hasn't served any cows in the last couple of years. All these ads on TV about men and women finding happiness, in that area, just from a pill got Millard's attention. He was telling me he may go ahead and order something for old Ferdy. He started calling him that after Ferdinand the Bull in that old Disney film where the bull was put out to pasture when he refused to fight and just sat around smelling flowers. Millard was a wannabe engineer and actually went one year to State College. It was Calculus that stopped him, so he dropped out and took over the family farm. Anyway, Millard got out his old slide rule and calculated the cost for the bull's proper dose of the drug. I think he may be wrong, but he came up with over a thousand dollars for a single dose. He said he would pay that much if he knew it would work. If his owner doesn't come up with a better solution it looks like old Ferdy will be shipped off to the meat plant; no flower smelling for him.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)

It's Cold Outside

Just in case some of you think it never gets cold down here, well, you're wrong. Last night the temperature dropped down close to single digits. And my cousin in Atlanta said they got down to 6 degrees last night. One of my neighbors is in Mexico for a month and he didn't turn off his automatic lawn watering. Their yard is a virtual winter wonderland this morning. I watched some kids this morning walking by and they seemed about twice their usual size because of all the wrapping up their mothers did before allowing them out. The weather is supposed to improve beginning today. This morning I overheard a woman in the library who had figured why all this chill had been cast upon us. She said, "God gives us days like this so everybody from those frigid northern states won't stay when they visit down here." Well, that's her view anyway. I figure there are other reasons, that God didn't participate in, that keep people from a making a permanent move to Harper.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle

Coming soon: More Tales of Harper (an ebook on Amazon)