Curtis Ray Keeps Us Up to Date

Y'all might remember me talking about Curtis Ray Ickleburg and how he gets things a little mixed up because of his hard of hearing problem. Well, we come up with enough money to get him a hearing aid and even though it wasn't the most expensive on the market we thought it would help a little. We have been greatly disappointed. He came into the barber shop today telling us about the news he had heard on his television. First, he told about these people that were sailing on a boat and were stranded out in the Curry Bean Ocean. They were without air conditioning and had to walk around amongst feeble matter. He said feeble matter was what they called all the old people that were in wheelchairs and on walkers. Then he moved over to the meter that fell out of the sky in Russia. He said it caused a chronic boom and busted out windows when it broke the sound barrel. But what was worse, we were all in danger because a giant hemorrhoid was closing in on Earth and might kill a lot of people. He said he heard they had one before that caused a lot of damage. That was what caused Dinah Shore to disappear from the face of the Earth. I reckon we better put the jar out and collect more money for a better hearing aid.