Grandpa Nelson's Last Drive

We got this old ninety-seven year old man, Grandpa Nelson, here in Harper. He is known by everyone because of his driving. With Grandpa the most important piece of equipment on the automobile is the horn. With him a red light or a stop sign is a place to blow your horn and speed up. His son, Lavern, installed a special horn that has three different tones, so people could recognize it was Grandpa and get out of the way. Lavern said it was his last hope since they could not get the old man to realize the necessity of using his brakes now and then. Yesterday, Grandpa's driving days came to an abrupt halt when he crashed through a fence and ran across his daughter-in-law, Barbara Doris's, azaleas. He destroyed at least a dozen bushes and left deep ruts across their recently sodded yard. She got the old man out of the car, grabbed his wallet from his back pocket, pulled out the driver's license, cut it into little pieces and told her father-in-law, "You're too old, You won't be needing this anymore." Later that day grandpa was spotted driving down Harper Lake Road right straddle the center line. Sheriff Jones pulled him over and asked for his license and was told by Grandpa a drivers license was not required for a man of his age. He said his daughter-in-law had told him so. His car has been sent off to the junk yard and his keys were thrown in the lake.