Freebies

Last night me and Dorothy was watching the news when this commercial come on what showed a man who heard they was giving away freebies at a motel. His wife had to straighten him out when he showed up in a beekeepers' outfit. She said, "They are giving away freebies, not free bees." My first thought were this is just another one of them commercials what makes mens look stupid. But Dorothy reminded me of Jimmy Donny Westflagland, a local man known for his acts of mild stupidity. Same thing happened; except it were the Dew Drop Donut Shoppe what advertised on the radio they was handing out freebies. Jimmy Donny showed up all decked out in his beekeepers' suit with the smoking canister what is supposed to keep the bees dumbfounded while you do what you want to do with them. He asked a man out front where he could find the free bees and the man told him the freebies was at the front register. When he got in and ever body started laughing at him he started to just run out and head back home. But Jimmy Donny ain't what you may call all-stupid. He's only half-stupid, so he lowered his voice to make it sound like his fishing buddy, Carl Bumpstead. He said I ought to sue y'all for false advertisement. Just remember Carl Bumpstead ain't one to be trifled with. Y'all gonna hear from my lawyer. Then is when his run out and went behind the store where he tossed the outfit. He come back in the store and asked if his friend Carl had showed up. He claimed he were trying to stop him before he made a fool of his self.