A Losing Battle

Clive Cuddleburt came into the barbershop this morning with his right forearm the size of Popeye's after eating a can of spinach. His left arm was in a cast and was slung from his shoulder with a white bandage. Both eyes were black and there was a cut on his forehead. Somebody asked him what happened and he said he got stung by a bee. Everyone said they were sorry and Clive said it was a learning experience.

"Yeah, I learned a bunch of stuff from that little bee. First thing is you can't outrun a bee when you're on a tractor. And my back field is a lot more hilly when you run over it a higher speed. From now on I'll pull my tractor to a stop before I get off. A tree is not the best way to stop a tractor. My lake ain't near as deep just off my dock as I thought it was. Tobacco on a bee sting ain't much good. My wife likes to see me suffer. And things are a lot funnier if you ain't the victim."

Milo Fieldstead asked Clive if his tractor was okay.

"It can't be fixed," he said. "That tree was over two hundred years old and I reckon it was too old to move fast enough to get out of the way."

Clive never was funny, but I reckon when you're stove up like he is you are even more not funny.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle