Pants on Fire

We got this man here in Harper who is a born liar. He was in school, a couple of grades behind me, while I was at Harper Elementary. Even back then he was known for not telling the truth. He cheated on his homework, used Classic Comic Books to make his book reports, and wrote answers to test question on his forearm. If he was ever caught he would swear he had not written anything on his arm. He claimed somebody must have sneaked into his bedroom during the night and did the evil deed. When the teacher called his mother in, the mother claimed her boy would never lie, he may tell a few harmless stories but he would never lie. Later in high school things got so bad the school psychologist recommended special counseling for the boy. The counselor came up with a good solution, the boy should pursue a career in either journalism or politics. The boy became the youngest mayor in the history of Harper. I'll have to say he did good things for Harper. He once convinced the state government that Harper qualified for natural disaster aid because it was located in a hazardous clay zone. He produced a paper claiming that the red clay hills around Harper emitted clay ions, little rays that caused people to prefer ignorance over learning. Grants for special education were approved and Harper became a test site for mind improvement exercises. The irony in all this is the main factor in getting the government's approval was the mayor's convincing evidence that the people must be stupid and gullible if they elected him mayor in the first place. I want to be sure y'all know I never voted for him.