Eye Test

I am happy to report that the streets of Harper are safer today. Yesterday Luster Little failed his eye test down at the place where you go to get your driver's license renewed. Luster is about ninety-five years old and has been a danger to our citizens for the last several years. Even though he has had many close calls he has never been in an accident himself. However we all suspect he has caused a few with his erratic driving. A stop sign or a red light was a signal for Luster to blow his horn and proceed across an intersection. I have often seen him backing out of parking places with the accelerator pushed to the floor and his left foot slowly, ever so slowly, releasing the clutch petal. When he had to parallel park it was a time consuming experience that left his old Chrysler either too far out in the street or on the sidewalk or grass.
Yesterday I happened to be down at City Hall where they do the vision test for renewals when Luster came in. He wears these real thick glasses that make his eyes kinda look like lizard eyes and was feeling his way up the stairs to the testing room. I helped him up the last four steps and accompanied him in. The young woman who was giving the test was real patient and gave Luster ever opportunity to succeed.

"Read the lowest line on the chart that you can, Mr. Little."

"There ain't nothing but a "E" on that paper. Y'all ought to change that. A fellow what wanted to cheat could come in here and claim he saw a "E" when he really didn't 'cause it don't never change, doncha know?"

"Can you see a light flashing to your left?"

"There ain't no light."

"Can you see a light on your right?"

"There ain't no light in that box. If there's supposed to be a light you need to get that thing fixed."

"Mr. Little, do you have an eye doctor?"

"Do I have a eye doctor? I reckon I do. I have to go ever month for a check. She says I got the worst case of Macaroni This Generation she has ever saw?"

Well, he didn't get his renewal and he just couldn't believe it. It's good news for most of the people in Harper, but not so good for me. I have volunteered my services to take Luster to the doctor, grocery store, and barbershop and any place else he needs to go. I reckon I felt bad about him having to deal with Macular Degeneration and all. That big old car will just sit in his driveway because his daughter went over yesterday after she heard about his ordeal and confiscated the keys.

Tales of Harper, short stories and poems about the fictional town of Harper, Mississippi is available on Amazon Kindle