Grumpy Is Normal

Harvey Lee’s List of Why It Is Great to be Old

1.     For the first time, people think you are funnier than you think you are.

2.     No pressure to walk any faster than you want to.

3.     You can say what you damn well please.

4.     You only have to have one candle on your cake.

5.     Instead of criticism you only get a pitiful look and a little shake of the head.

6.     When you don’t leave a tip they think you just forgot.

7.     When you come to a stop sign all you have to do is blow your horn and proceed ahead.

8.     Your weight is only important to your doctor.

9.     You have mastered the technique of silent flatus, or at least you think you have.

10. You don’t give a damn if Mississippi State beats Ole Miss.

11. You can’t read the numbers on your bathroom scale.

12. If you ain’t read it you probably ain’t gonna read it.

13. Your favorite mode of transportation is the rocking chair.

14. You can watch TV at any hour of the day.
15. Grumpy is normal, pleasant is exceptional.