Why Getting Old Ain't So Good

Harvey Lee’s List of Why Getting Old ain't so good.

1.     Regularity has moved from the bathroom to the doctor’s office

2.     It takes a U-Haul for an overnight trip

3.     Peeing ain’t as easy as it used to be (in so many ways.)

4.     When someone says the word sex, you think they said six. Or socks.

5.     Looking at a picture of a pretty girl is just as good as looking at a pretty girl.

6.     You have a constant urge to remove the mirrors from your bathroom.

7.     The neighbors across the lake complain about the volume of your TV.

8.     Your ironclad stomach has turned into a boiling cauldron.

9.     You have more warts than teeth.

10. The preacher asks you to use a Breathe-Rite strip during his sermons.

11. You worry about things like: Is the speed of dark exactly the same as the speed of light?

12. Your favorite candy is Tums.

13. Your favorite mixed drink is Metamucil.

14. Going out to eat means lunch on the porch.

15. You keep charts on things like: mail delivery time, expiration dates on milk, and who's in the nursing home.

16. You can think of the names of more people who are dead than names of those who are alive.